Geoffrey Alexander
Geoff is a man of great fortitude.
Before I met him, I was a loser with no purpose in life.
I lived in a mansion with my supermodel wife and a half-dozen sports cars in the garage.
Then one day, something about Geoff attracted me, and it wasn't just his abnormally large gravitational pull.
He spoke to me, and the sound of his voice was so beautiful, I could not help but listen.
Geoff taught me where the best spots to grind in Pokemon are and how to capture a golden pidgey.
Through rigorous training, I became a better person, balding and gaining fifty pounds.
With his guidance, I'm now happily living in my parents' basement, playing World of Warcraft and crying in my self-pity.
I would be nothing without Geoffrey Alexander. God Bless.

New: Try the game based on our hero -- Geoff XL: The Quest For Saturated Fat
Download